Saturday, February 25, 2012

That subbing Feeling

i have put pen to paper so many times trying to start writing...about submission, about the scene, about my search for my Master...and yet all i can manage to put together is a very decorative looking pile of discarded drafts (yes, failure has taught me oragami-reduce, reuse, recycle).  Don't get me wrong-i am pretty proud of my madd folding skillz-but i feel all this word vomit just boiling up inside of me and i know it needs to go somewhere.

Why not the internet?  It's full of words.  Entire blogs devoted to pet chinchillas...i could write something online.  Not something profound, prolific, or life altering but good enough for the internet and it might relieve some of the pressure building up.  Where do i start though?

Luckily, one of the blogs i have been creeping lurking reading quietly has monthly writing prompts during something called the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge.  i have something to write about for my first post and i didn't even have to think it up on my own!  i have created myself a fool proof method for writing my first post-this will NOT end up as a paper crane.

The topic for this, the fifth blog hop challenge (but my first-ever) is:
What brings out your most powerful submissive/slave mindset? Is it a regular occurrence in your life or do you long for that submissive/slave feeling more often?
Share a time where you felt your most submissive.

This is actually a difficult question for me.  i kind of feel like i am being asked what makes me feel the most brunette.  i generally just walk around being brunette-there isn't a time when i feel otherwise...and there isn't a time when i am not a sub.  My views and actions are always filtered through what is best for and then most pleasing to the people i care about (though i am unowned i still have people i serve and care about) and i do everything in my power to behave in a way that is edifying to them.

Then i thought about the question in another way-what if it's not asking what makes me feel the most submissive...what if the real question is what triggers my most powerful need to serve?  That becomes a little easier to answer.  i am all about the dynamic-the stronger and more palpable the power exchange potential is, the more i crave service.  It starts with a look...a hot, commanding look.  Then a small order or a pet name-bring Me My drink, girl.  It is built, layer upon layer, until it is firmly established who has the power and who serves (me!  me!  oh please me!).

This doesn't happen as often as i'd like, but i suppose that is the nature of being unowned...or at least i assume i am not the only girl wandering around looking for Men who might let me crawl between their parted legs and put my cheek upon Their thigh.  If i am...well then i don't do that either.

As for the time where i felt my most submissive...if i translate that again as the time when i felt my most powerful need to serve, i would have to say at the feet of one of my close Dom friends.  Curling up there as His hands moved over me firmly-but not anywhere naughty-He said exactly the right words to make me feel like a treasured little pet.  It is good He is an honorable person because i am fairly certain i would have done anything He asked at that point.

Even wrote something that didn't turn into a box or a rose or a crane.

Oh look...i'm pressing publish!

i wonder if anyone will read it.

1 comment:

  1. Yes I read it and I love your style! Keep on writing and it will get easier. At least, I too hope it gets easier.


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